I seldom fall sick, maybe once a year or not at all. Thus, it's hard for doctors to earn my money. I am not exactly very sick, jus having a very painful throat and also having dry coughs in the air-conditioned office, which is usually super duper ultra cold, even having your jacket on. But since seeing a doctor will cost me nothing, I went to my company's panel doctor to nurse a painful throat. Got some medicine and the lozenges taste good I must say. Blackcurrent hehe.. Yummy! Felt a lot better after 2 days of medication and thanks a lot to those who showed their care. N sorry gals for not being to meet you today but had to change it to Thursday. We'll rock Thursday!! hehe :)

Well, just felt like blogging but don't really have a topic to blog about. Probably just some random thoughts. Everyday's the same for me, early in the morning, after breakfast with mummy, off I go to work. At work, time passes so slowly. The bad thing about this department I am in is that all reports are due before 15th of the month. So after 15th, you are just clearing some backlog stuff or just doing some ad-hoc tasks. Not very interesting. Plus it is indeed boring and hard to pass time. So I really feel that it is a dread to go to work these days. But in the beginning of the month, it is just so busy and so packed with work that you don't have time to even visit the washroom. It seems quite exaggerating but for me, I feel that there's no point working overtime. I would rather make full use of the time I have i.e. office hours to finish my work. Thus, I would say I don't even have time to visit the washroom. Why I feel that there's no reason to work overtime is mainly bcoz you are not compensated for working OT. Hehe money drives everything isn't it? It's not that I am not committed to work or what but there's really no point staying back to do stuff that isn't due on the day itself and to think that if you plan your time ahead, everything should be done smoothly to meet the deadline. Haha so the moral of the story is I leave the office exactly at 630pm.

The only thing I feel now in life is I do not have an aim or target in life. Previously when I was schooling, my aim and target is to do well in school, get good results, finish and complete all my assignments and papers with my best effort and ultimately to find a good job and start my career. Now the job is found, not too bad although I won't say it's fantastic, and I am at the beginning phase of my career. So hmm.. what's next? Getting married isn't an aim, is it? I have a boyfriend who loves me as though I am his wife, so I need not aim to find a boyfriend or a husband. What's next? Now I don't see a point in buying cars anymore although I have always fancied expensive and pretty convertibles. But it does not become an aim or target now, because parking is a problem at my workplace. The bank does not sponsor or even subsidise your parking unless you are of a certain position. Parking is way too expensive in Raffles Place that there's really no point to drive there. But expensive and pretty convertibles will still be on my mind, who knows one day I might decide to change to another company, whereby I can happily drive to work. Dress prettily driving a pretty convertible. *Dreaming already*. So I guess my aim now is to work towards putting more fixed deposits and also to look for good savings plan and also to upgrade my current insurance plan and lastly to plan for retirement. Seems so fast when you start working... OMG!

Those who are not working yet, please enjoy your life now cos' I really envy you! Hee.. alright, that's all for today. Shall go n watch TV now. Tatas...

Firstly, sorry that I haven't been updating. Everyday on the MRT home, I would tell myself that I want to come home and update my blog. But after a bath and dinner, I will be stuck watching TV all the way till I go to bed. And I have been sleeping exceptionally early (say 10pm) every night, so that I would have ample energy to work the next day.

Just to mention a feel happenings last week which really make it end really sweetly, wishing more weekends would come:

Wednesday

went to Orchard Hotel for dinner. Sumptuous dinner but cant eat there frequently becoz it's too costly! Luckily Kel's dad knows the chef and we had like 1-for-1 discount. Shiok! Or it would amount up to $50 per pax. I would rather dine at Shangri La for lunch with that money. Hee. What I enjoyed most there was the cheese cake and mango cake. It will always be my favourite man, especially the mango cake! Dinner was really fantastic and enjoyable.

However, lunch was not as good. My colleagues had long wanted to bring me to this Korean restaurant to dine becos they think it's good. But then, being the conservative me, I always don't dare to try new stuff, so time and again, we did not manage to go until this day. They brought me there to have their steamboat. Their steamboat is not exactly like Chinese's one. Theirs had everything cooked already. And they just have a stove with fire and puts the pot with the food in front of you. 3 of us shared the steamboat as portion is just nice for 3. It is unlike the Chinese's who cook the food as you eat. It was quite tasty but really not worth the price. In the steamboat, there's tou kua, maggi noodle, kimchi, xiao bai cai, hot dog, luncheon meat, nian gao, carrots and golden mushroom. It wasn't very filling and the soup base taste like tom yam. For this lunch, I paid $17. Do you know how much food I can buy with $17 at the market. Definitely not worth the price coz there wasn't meat or prawns or chicken. Hopefully next time I won't have to go there again. Prays hard.

Friday

Finally got to meet dearie and Tiang after so long. Met at Cineleisure and had pasta at Pasta Mania. I did not eat my usual Spicy Chicken Spaghetti which made all of them quite surprised. Instead I had my long awaited Prawns and Shrooms Linguine. Hee, all of them were quite shocked at my choice coz it just wasn't what I usually eat. Oh well, it was pay day that day, I should pamper myself isn't it? But I am still craving for creamy chicken linguine. Darling or whoever, can you please date me there!!?? ASAP!!! hee...

After dinner, went to watch what movie was available. However, we can't come to a compromise as to what to watch. Thus, we ended up eating popcorn at the box office area. So dumb right? But I just want to shout that Cathay always have the best popcorn! Really enjoyed. At that time, I was contemplating between going home or KTV. In the end, darling and I settled for KTV coz I really really x 1,000,000 wanted to go to KTV. So we went there while dearie and Tiang went off. It was really expensive cos it amounts up to about $28 each. And we were only allowed to sing 2.5 hours. What a ripped off! But I never regret cos' it has been 11 months since I stepped into KTV. But the most saddening of all is that I realised that I can no longer sing. So sad... I used to sing so well, but after so long of not singing, I can no longer sing. Think I must practise more often at home, before people ask me to go KTV. Or else I won't dare to sing in front of them. Argh... how?! People will laugh at me. MMmmm... must wake up everyday and do AhAHahahaha.... Haha...

Never the less, the night ended off sweetly.

Sunday

After helping out at my mum's stall, darling and I wanted to go catch Singapore Dreaming which I already bought vouchers at a lower price from my co. But I was supposed to go change to the normal tix. When we reach there, it says selling fast. When it was our turn to buy, they had only the first 3 rows left. Decided to give it up and we went walking around Plaza Singapura. Went back to darling's house to do facial masks again. *Feels my face* So SOFT! keke....

Today

Celebrated my colleague's birthday by having a department lunch at Swensen's. Had Chilli Fish Pasta. OF course the pasta wasn't as fantastic as that I had try at other places. Then went to walk around at Bugis and realised they had a new fashion boutique and they sell small and big-size clothings. Haha which means I can go there to shop! Took a glance at their clothes, quite special tops but expensive. The range is like high 30s to 50s for tops. Bottoms I am really not sure. Probably can go take a look again this Saturday if I have the time. Hee.

Before lunch, while on the way to Bugis, one of my colleague, Y, asked me how I was coping and if I were busy. As the peak period is always the beginning of the month, now I am just really doing some rubbish which has no deadline but which we have to clear as and when we have the time. And I actually went to ask to do this although it wasn't within my job scope. The other day, another colleague, C, told me to not be so helpful becoz when I can't cope with my own work, no one is going to be so helpful to help me. But I tot if I have nothing to do everyday, how am I going to pass time and I really mean nothing to do man! Alright, anyway I volunteered my 'service' ok. So back to Y.

Y: How's everything? Busy yet?

I: Still OK.

Y: Still OK means should be quite free la.

I: Huh no la.

Y: Oh later we come back, I teach you new things to keep you busy.

I: Orr. (reluctantly)

On the train,

Y: I am going to apply leave at the last week of Dec.

M (another colleague): Wa then this 'thing' (which I can't mention) who do?

Y: Ya hor, must train someone to do. (immediately turns to look at me)
There, Grace lo.

I: (looks at her blankly, showing my reluctance) Huh? Why me?

Y: Cos' you are new! (Shot 1)

After lunch, she paid for the meal on behalf and everyone is supposed to go back to the office and pay her back. At Swensen's:

Y: (Looking at me) Later you go back, divide the cost and email everyone how much they are supposed to pay. Then you help me collect the money and give it to me.

I: (In front of my boss, super not happy with the arrangement) Huh why me again?! Why you all always bully me? Everything also throw at me.

Y: Cos' you are new ma!

I: What about being new?!

The conversation just ended like this.

On the way back, I was complaining to another colleague, K. She said Y is like this, always like to snatch to pay (supposedly for the points for her credit card) and ask people to collect money for her. Once, K was also asked to collect money but K rejected it right in her face. Hai. Hearing this makes me more reluctant to collect the money. But nvtheless I collected la. Just take it as a kind deed ba.

Another thing why I am unhappy about Y is becuz when I came to the department, my boss actually send us a list of who-is-doing-what. And she also indicated her intention of letting me do what. Above I mentioned that Y said she wanted to teach me something, right? I have no idea what she wanted to teach me but I just couldn't be bothered to ask or find out. So I went back to count how many reports she's in charge of. She has 2 daily, 1 half-yearly, 1 ad-hoc and 1 quarterly. And I have 1 daily, 8 monthly, 2 quarterly, 2 half yearly, 2 ad hoc, in all 15. Com' on la, Y is of a higher rank than me, she obviously is drawing more than me, but why she does so little? I ever mentioned this in front of don't-know-who and that person told me bcoz she just came back from a minor brain surgery so she can't be stressed too much. In my mind, I was like "huh?! then why keep her here, drawing so much money and not value adding?" WTF right? But I always console myself by saying that the more I learn is all for my own good. When I get the hang of everything and I perform well, I can get a raise and promotion quickly, which can be true to a very large extent. If I can cope, I will gladly take everything to myself. But I am just afraid I couldn't cope.

OK all the office politics aside. Today talked to Xiaoqi on MSN during office hours as she wasn't feeling too good. Just wanted to listen to her talk. You know it's the first time she said so much to me. I am really happy and thankful that she can confide in me. To me, I have only 2 friends whom I tell my innermost secrets i.e. Jiaying and Xiaoqi. They always understand me for not being able to meet them cos I am really busy. But when we meet, we still talk like we just met yesterday, continuing our conversation. I am really grateful for this becoz in a friendship, it takes 2 hands to clap. Many times I lose a friend bcoz everytime they ask me out on a weekend, I would decline. As time goes by, they will just drift away from me and no longer asking me out. So I can proudly say I only have 2 friends. It is quite sad in a sense but it's ok. I always tell myself it's easier to manage my time with 2 friends and a boyfren. At least I don't have to be out 7 days a week just in order to meet all my friends.

With regards to your blog entry, dear... Like what I said in the afternoon, you are perfectly fine alright? If you can, don't read too much into this matter bcoz on this end you will be 'suffering'. But on the other end, she does not know or maybe doesn't care even if she knows. (Sorry but I am not trying to create a war here, but I am just stating a fact). It's really not worth it whereby you are feeling all so sad, so disappointed, so heartache but on the other end, she's actually happily enjoying your life. Trust me, I know how it feels to be used as a friend. In JC, it is my everyday experience. Ppl who don't go to class always borrow and copy my notes but they aren't really my friends, they are just my classmates. This is all becoz I don't know how to say no. When they want to borrow notes from you, they're extremely nice. When they dont need your help or notes, they just treat you as non-existent. I know how hateful such a feeling is. But as what I said, dont read too much into everything. I know it is easier said than done. And probably you are more sensitive than I am. I usually just close one eye to such things. So I hope the same for you works too. At least you can be happy everyday.

Remember what I say: I am always here for you so long as you open your mouth and call me or even just email or msg me. I may not be there for you physically but mentally I will always be supporting you and always willing to help you if you let me know your problems. Remember I said that your laughter and your happiness is my satisfaction and joy.

Alright, this sounds mushy but she knows what I am saying. The same goes for Jiaying too. Although I may not understand your problems as much bcoz I havent been through it as much as you (it's only the beginning that I am feeling), but one fine day, I think I will understand what you are going through. Thanks for confiding in me as well. I really love to listen to the two of you whining away, you're just so cute! Keke.

All the unhappy things aside!!!! My birthday's coming!!!! WASSUP for Celebrations eh?! Dinner plus K? Or shall we go the Settlers Cafe to play board games? Think it would be quite fun isn't it?! Keke just let me know earlier. Anytime from Sunday to Wednesday bcoz Friday is for Kel and Thurs is for my family. Let me know ya! I must celebrate with you all hee....

The happiest thing that happen last week was meeting up with Jiaying! Really super excited to meet her. Had dinner with her at Jack's Place. Yea~ love the potatoes served with bacon bits and sour cream. My favourite though it's super fattening. Then we walked around Cineleisure as she needed to collect some stuff for her sister. I bought nail polish again (yes again!) After having so many bottles of nail polish, I still could not resist the temptation! Though we left town at 9+ and it was really a very short meeting for both of us, considering we haven't met each other for the past 9 months, I am still so glad that we don't feel distant at all! hee Jiaying, I still love u so muchieeee~ So looking forward to meeting her again. When will that be? Hopefully next fri we can all go KTV together. I told qiqi abt it already. Kel might join us too. Yay! Budden we never take photos ah.. Hope go KTV that time can take many photos.

This friday will be meeting Serene and Tiang. Haven met them since my graduation ceremony. Remembered that we so used to play mahjong once a week and suddenly we drifted apart so much. It's very disheartening but I guess sometimes it's just fated and meant to be. We can't force things. I have come to see that friendship is really hard to build. Thus, I cherish Jiaying, Xiaoqi and Peipei very much. Because we have been friends for like 10 years. Isn't it amazing?! Also, I realised that you can't make friends in office. They are just merely your colleagues, not friends eh! Except for BBG colleagues, some have became my friends, which I learn to cherish their presence as well. But I guess in my department, nothing of this sort would happen, it just isn't possible.

On last Friday night, met darling at his place for dinner. As usual, stayed over. I bought masks for us, but in the end I am the only one who used, darling said he will used it this coming Friday. Hehe, the mask is quite good, feels that the skin has become firmer. Haha and most importantly it's cheap! Looking forward to this Friday, hope the meeting with dearie and bf would turn out great. And we're dining at the Boat Quay zi cha! Been some time since we went there and I want to drink Tom Yam soup, darling! Remember to order for me ar~ Alright, off to work lo! Tatas...